You Know You're Indian When...

• Your dad is some sort of engineer or doctor.
• Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
• You know what's going to happen in every Hindi movie before it happens
• Your father and grandfathers have hair on their ears
• An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is that your mother? Well then, is it your sister?"
• Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs or both
• Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
• You either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it
• "You want a stereo! When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!"
• Your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and pink stripes at the top.
• Your family owns a tennis racquet.
• You buy corn oil by the gallon.
• Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
• You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal.
• Everyone in your family has pet names, which sound nowhere close to their real names.
• You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the Airport.
• You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
• When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
• Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
• There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
• You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
• Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
• You hide everything from your parents.
• Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
• You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
• Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
• Everyone is a family friend.
• You know no one who has studied music.
• You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
• You still came back home